


He started it!

by stargazerlilith



Series: The Misadventures of Raising Magical Children [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, M/M, Not Epilogue Compliant, parenting issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 11:23:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11103564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargazerlilith/pseuds/stargazerlilith
Summary: Severus is away, again, leaving Harry with their children. A nice family outing isn't too much to ask is it?





	He started it!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it. Thank you [ hellosweetie17 ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/hellosweetie17) for all your help. She's awesome and you should give her work a look. Enjoy!  
> Side Note- I don't own these lovely characters.  
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!

Harry moaned in frustration. All he wanted to do was to have a nice quiet day with his children. He thought today would be that day!

_Boy, was he wrong._

He had a successful morning.  He had finished his book and owled his editor the manuscript. Leaving Harry the rest of the day to enjoy his family. 

Harry had traipsed down the stairs to see his ‘angels’ finishing their breakfast that Kreacher had prepared for them. Kreacher was muttering his usual about ‘ _masters working too hards, not eating like they shoulds, nasty brats eating all Kreacher’s hards works_ ’.  Kreacher would never admit to it, but he enjoyed when William and Ethan were home from Hogwarts.  

Harry had figured- ‘what the heck’- he try his luck and show his children a muggle zoo. Just a normal family outing...well most of the family. Unfortunately, Severus had been called away due to  ‘incompetence on a moronic level’ at St. Mungos.

_Oh, the woes of being married to a successful Potions Master, who was revolutionizing the potions world._

The kids were excited enough to see what muggles keep in a zoo. They had rushed the stairs and got ready in a matter of minutes. Harry just wished he would have seen the warning signs that they were up to no good.

Sometimes, Harry wondered if Ethan was the reincarnation of his father or maybe Sirus.  He would never tell that to Severus.  

_Bloody hell…_

The man would find a way to search the underworld if he even thought James or Sirus was in his son. Harry shuddered at the thought.

Harry had thought himself brave going to the muggle world without dragging Hermione with him.  Severus would’ve muttered that it was the _Gryffindor_ in him. He figured he could wrangle his three. He had explained in depth to the children about the dangers of using magic in front of muggles, after all.

 

Apparently, that meant- do magic and see if you can get away with it….

 

So, here they were at a muggle zoo with his ‘ _little_ ’ problem.

He had stepped away from the children leaving Ethan in charge to get them a snack. _Just a few feet, really._ He had turned around when the screams started.

Ethan and Lily stood in the middle of the foray with the biggest beautiful King Cobra, he had ever seen, and about a dozen other rainbow coloured snakes swarming at their feet.   _Just fucking bloody hell._  He glanced around noticing the horde of mongoose snakes, crocodiles, tree frogs, and all sorts of reptiles heading towards the doors of the Reptile House.

Harry marched over to his ‘angels’ fury etched into his face. “Just _what_ do you think you're doing?” he hissed in a low whisper.

“Daddy, they wanted to be free. And Samuel wants to go home with me. Can’t I keep him?” Lily smiled innocently, letting the cobra wrap around her arms and up to her shoulders.

Harry couldn’t help but look incredulously at his daughter, the cobra, and Ethan. Ethan who was doing his best not to laugh. “Daddy, it was accidental magic. Lils didn’t mean it,” he said between snickers.

Harry moaned in frustration running his fingers through his mop of his hair.

_Accidental magic, his arse. At this rate, he was gonna have a bloody hell of time fucking convincing people that … No, his little ‘angel’ was not a Dark Lord...er Lady.  Was it too much to ask to have one fucking outing without something happening?_

_Bloody hell, what a complete cock-up._

 

“Pumpkin, we can’t...we can’t...,” Harry knelt, making sure not to step on any snakes and cleared his throat, “Honey, the zoo keeps him safe. We don’t have any place to put him.”

“But, Daddy,” she whined, “He doesn’t like it here.” She glared at him, stomping her foot and earning a hiss in his direction.

Harry glared at the cobra and hissed at it to “shut up”. He took a deep breath and prayed to Merlin to give him strength. _Who would have thought that karma would bite him in the arse, today? This was his bloody fucking punishment for letting that snake go all those years ago._

He coughed and cleared his throat. He started to explain the why's; when he noticed something wasn't quite right.

_Merlin’s beard, where's William?_

He looked at Ethan then Lilly and back to Ethan confused.

“Ethan, where’s your brother?”

Ethan looked down to the ground and started muttering. “I… I don’t know,” he whispered shrugging his shoulders.

Harry looked around and cursed.

_Bloody hell-_

Severus will never let him live this down. He fucking...lost his child.

“Well, where did you see him last?” Harry shouted, frantically looking around the house pushing people out of his way.  He could see the police starting to restrict the area off.

Harry cursed, desperately asking people if they had seen his boy.  Ethan looked guiltily at Lily rushing over to his father. “Daddy… I might...um mm… kinda...transfigured … Will into a ...uh...uh…” he muttered, staring at the ground.

“Into **_what,_ ** Ethan? Where is your brother?” Harry growled, trying to stay calm.

“A bench by the King Cobra exhibit.”

Harry felt the colour drain from his face.

 _A_ _bench, a bloody bench_.

He cursed rushing over to the exhibit. Ethan and Lily walking behind him shuffling their feet. Harry sat on the bench and pulled his children towards him. He glanced around before casting a disillusionment charm and apparated home.

 

They landed back in the drawing room. “Ethan, turn him back,” Harry demanded, crossing his arms. Ethan looked at his father and knew they were in big trouble. He lifted his concealed wand and tried to remember the sequence.

The bench wavered and stretched and soon turned into a boy- well sort of. Will blinked and looked at his father and siblings.  Ethan and Lily started snickering. Will had elephant ears and a pig nose.

A heated glare- a glare so fierce that all children knew was the ‘ _nothing will save_ _you_ ’ look-  complete with a fierce scowl, made them stop quickly.  Harry knelt  looking into his son’s watery emerald eyes and ran a soothing hand through his lanky black hair.  

“William, love, hold still,” he murmured, waving his wand over William’s features. Harry sighed with relief pulling William into a hug.

_Thank Merlin and Morgana, nothing permanent._

 

Harry whirled around at the sound of shuffling feet tiptoeing out of the room. “ _And, where do you think you two are going_ ?” he drawled, his voice going into the ‘ _you’re in deep and you better pray_ ’ octave.

“Well um mm…,” they muttered, wringing their hands. They knew they were in deep. _Thank Merlin! Papa wasn't home._

 

“Ethan Harrison Potter-Snape, you should be ashamed of yourself. Getting your sister to set the snakes loose to disguise the fact that _you_ **_transfigured_ ** your brother! When I expressly forbade the use of  magic! We will be dealing with an inquiry from the ministry, now,” he admonished giving them both the ‘ _I'm so disappoint in you’_ look. “And you Lily Eileen Potter-Snape, have better control over your magic. You could’ve been seen by muggles! This is an underhand way to get a pet. You just stole from the London Zoo! I’m raising a _criminal_!”

Harry stared angrily at his defiant children, who were trying to look cowed. He knew better and he had the best punishment. Before, he could hand down his method of _torture_...er...disciplinary action, he heard laughter coming from the blasted snake.

Harry glowered and hissed at ‘Samuel’ threatening to turn him into potions ingredients. Lily looked just as horrified as the snake. _Well good._

“You two, will wash everything in this house the _muggle_ way including your father's cauldrons. _Absolutely no magic!”_  Harry inwardly smirked as he watched the horror dawn onto their faces. _“_ While you clean, you can figure out how to explain this to your father when he returns. I won’t save you!”

“But... Daddy...”

“But… but… Will, he started it...”

“That's enough,” he demanded, ushering them out the room into the kitchen to start their work. 

_Hopefully, this would teach them to appreciate things._

He could hear Kreacher’s wailing. _Lovely, he would have to soothe the house elf._  

 _Just why? What did he do to deserve this kind of karma?_  

Harry never did see William’s smirk as his father led him to the table for a treacle tart.

 

 

 


End file.
